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The author, his husband, and his boyfriend. Photo by the author. It was when I read an opinion piece by a British writer Dylan Jones that I learned I was a slut—an actual, world-class slut. In his piece, Jones describes being called a slut when, after the topic of one's sexual headcount came up as party banter, he estimated that he'd slept with guys.
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It was a. Before I had a chance to respond, the bitter queen walked away, leaving me standing in the intoxicating mix of leather, alcohol and sweat that was in the air. The bar was closing, and many of its bearded, muscular patrons were staggering home through the streets of Silver Lake with their tricks for the night. I was now ready to leave, too, and upon finding my friend, our topic of conversation for the next 45 minutes over bowls of pho was what Mark had said to me. My take from the incident was a question: Where did all of this slut-shaming come from? Why should I be ashamed of what I did? My partner and I define the terms of how our relationship works.
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Conversations with friends are a crucial source of information about sexuality for young gay men, and a key way that sexual health norms are shared during emerging adulthood. However, friends can only provide this support if they are able to talk openly about sexuality. We explored this issue through qualitative interviews with an ethnically diverse sample of young gay men and their best friends.
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